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No wipe out for Woodcote

15th March 2019

Our European neighbours in Germany have been very concerned about the effects of a hard Brexit motion on soft toilet paper.

According to the former Labour MP and Minister for Europe, Dennis McShane, the UK is the largest importer of toilet paper in Europe and only stocks one day’s worth of supply, hence could be at risk if a Brexit deal was not agreed on by the UK parliament

Hakle, a leading German manufacture of toilet paper were concerned that her Majesty the Queen may be caught short should a no deal Brexit occur.

In order to help her Majesty out they generously donated a pallet of 90 packs of their highest quality 4-ply Hakle ‘dream soft’ toilet paper. This was whisked from their factory in Dusseldorf through Dover, before any backlog could build up, straight to the gates of Buckingham Palace.

Buckingham Palace kept a tight lid on why they ducked out on the delivery. However, all was not lost because the loo roll was kindly donated to Woodcote High School, a comprehensive school in South London.

The Headteacher, Mr Southworth, said he was flushed with joy to receive this delivery and said “if project fear comes to fruition, we won’t be going down the pan at Woodcote”.

 


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